Being Brave Enough to Pause When The World Keeps Spinning
Reconnecting to Your True Source Of Power and Value
In today’s non-stop, demanding culture measuring one’s value through productivity and instant connections has never caused so much disconnection and inner trauma.
We look to external sources — pay cheques, followers, status — to determine our worth.
We pride ourselves in how much can be achieved, and then lean on external validation as means of measuring our success.
But as many who go to bed exhausted and wake up the same way will tell you: relying on rest at night to reset is not enough.
If this resonates, please know: This is a survival response developed to shield you from shame.
You are not alone.
There is another way
This article will explore the destructive cycle of productivity many get caught in, benefits and importance of creating space for intentional healing rest, and how rest protects your mental & physical health as well as your relationships.
External Actions Lead To Internal Worth
Many grew up in homes where value had to be earned or proven and they learned to depend on productivity to connect and gain value.
For example:
Need:
Acceptance
Validation
Actions:
Helping with chores
Fawning / People-pleasing
Learned Behaviour:
“Value is earned when accomplishments are acknowledged.”
2. Need:
Acceptance
Security
Actions:
Achieving high grades
Public recognition of status or achievement
Promotion at work
Learned Behaviour:
“Value is earned through achievements.”
3. Need:
Respect
Relationship
Belonging
Actions:
Acceptance into social club or school
Get hired for a job
Learned Behaviour:
“Value is earned through association and rewards (pay check, membership, etc)
Once a behaviour pattern to fulfill these needs is learned it becomes complicated to step away.
The road to burnout
During productive hours of the day the sympathetic side of our nervous system is active, releasing hormones to alert the body to function and move — in gentle terms, it can be compared to an athlete pushing forward to reach the finish line.
Now imagine this athlete pushing themself 16+ hours every day—every week, every month… year after year.
Their only hope for solace and recovery is the bedroom at night.
But we rarely find the solace we seek because negative emotions and unprocessed experiences throughout the day are stuffed below the surface until the parasympathetic nervous system — responsible for emotional regulation, resting, digesting, etc — becomes engaged.
So when our head finally hits the pillow, exhausted and depleted—instead of rest, instead of solace — we deal with an array of physical stress symptoms, including:
Headaches
Muscle tension
Digestive issues
High blood pressure
Sleep issues / Insomnia
Dizziness / Shaking
And as we try to fall asleep, we are often overwhelmed with high waves of anxiety.
Anxiety Speaks in Silence
When your mind and body are finally given space to breathe, all unresolved trauma comes to the surface, including:
Dysregulated emotions
Spinning thoughts
Guilt-ridden narratives / Accusation
Fears
Inner-criticism
Common recurring messages include:
“If I could get more done I wouldn’t feel empty inside.”
“I’m still making mistakes … I need to push myself harder.”
“I shouldn’t feel so exhausted — my commitments are all good things I enjoy.”
“If I don’t text back the perfect response I’ll be abandoned.”
“My mother/father won’t accept who I am until ____.”
“My brain and body feel numb, but failure is not an option.”
“My relationships are falling apart at the seams …”
“I don’t know who I am anymore...”
Until the mind is given intentional space to heal, these unresolved inner-criticisms and fears will not go away.
The Science of Healing And Restorative Rest
When we create intentional spaces of rest throughout the day our parasympathetic nervous system engages to restore what may feel depleted.
This restoration process includes:
Regulating and rebalancing the body’s fight-flight-freeze response
Activating the rest and digest process
Improving memory recall
Regulating metabolism
Reducing mental fatigue
Repairing tissues, muscles, and sore joints
Regenerating stem cells to create bone cells, muscle cells, brain cells, blood cells and more
Processing and softening emotional highs and lows
Considering unsolved problems and potential solutions
Restoring and repairing bodily functions
Types Of Rest Our Bodies Need Each Day for Restorative Healing
Starting with small pockets of a couple minutes is beneficial
Circumstantial Rest is found in small moments of stillness—no chaos, no crisis.
This can be as simple as taking one, full deep breath. In and out.
Be present and feel your chest rise and fall.
In this pocket of time, it’s just you loving you and signaling to your nervous system that you are safe.
Consider following a short breathing exercise.
Apps that provide these and other tools include:
Emotional Rest is where we feel calm and settled.
Take time to sit with your emotions and get in touch with what you feel.
Consider what may have caused any dysregulation.
Are there healthy ways to resolve this?
A journal or close friend may be beneficial here.
Spiritual Rest provides peace for the soul and releases shame.
Consider reciting a mantra:
“I am worthy of rest”
“I am doing the best I can”
“I am allowed to take up space”
“I am not responsible for how others show up”
“I release what I cannot control”
Relational Rest is where we feel safety and integrity around our relationships — first with ourselves, then with others.
This is resting in the deep peace that we are seen, known, and accepted for who we are — we are at peace without achievement or good works.
Helpful mantras here are:
“I am worthy of my own time”
“I choose to be here with myself”
“I am not broken”
“There is nothing to fix”
“I accept myself as I am”
Physical Rest means more than just sleeping.
This also means slowing down, setting aside a task, or taking an intentional break.
Consider slowing down for some self-care:
Take a short walk outside
Slowly make a cup of tea
Dim the lights an hour before you plan to sleep
Have a hot, unrushed shower or bath
Use essential oils on your skin and hair
Gentle, Trauma-Informed Ways to Relearn Rest
Bring brave enough to pause on purpose is like giving your nervous system a warm hug.
It’s like saying.
“You are safe now. I’m here. You can let go and just be.”
This compassionate mindset helps reintroduce your body and mind as places of sanctuary—not threat.
You can begin reconnecting to your true, inner, powerful self today.
You don’t have to navigate this path alone.
We have resources designed to support and empower you:
- ALIGN Courses: Practical, self-paced, trauma-informed tools to help you navigate recovery with clarity and confidence.
- Article: Read “The Lifelong Impact of Being an Unwanted Child: How Complex Trauma Shapes Identity, Relationships, and Healing” for actionable insights into overcoming trauma’s long-lasting effects.
LIFT Online Learning is designed for people who’ve tried everything… and still feel stuck.
It’s not about quick fixes. It’s about:
Understanding how trauma reshaped your brain (so you can reshape it back).
Practicing tools that actually work (not just "think positive!").
Healing in a way that sticks—because you deserve more than temporary relief.
The best part? You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Let’s begin—when you’re ready.