Respect is essential to a healthy relationship. But what does healthy respect look like? And if respect has been lost, how is it recovered?

An important ingredient of a healthy relationship is that each person invest time and energy to "get" the other person - to understand them at a deep level. Most people from Complex Trauma have never experienced this while they were growing up. This talk is full of practical tools and lots of questions that you can ask someone to help you get to know them better.

What are the signs that a relationship is unhealthy or that it is breaking down? What is the reason a relationship breaks down? What are the signs that a relationship is past the point of salvaging?

Parenting involves teaching your child how to choose good friends, be a good friend, and giving them the tools to have a healthy relationship. Complex Trauma greatly works against that in many ways. Why is that? What does a healthy relationship look like?

Dealing with an eating disorder is very difficult and painful. What causes eating disorders? Is it a symptom of deeper issues? Is there an approach that will help a person struggling with an eating disorder?

Why do people self-harm? For most, it is a temporary solution to their emotional pain. Sadly, it doesn't resolve their pain and ends up creating greater pain. What tools can a person learn so that they no longer need to self-harm? And how should we respond to someone who is involved in self-harm behaviour?

Borderline Personality Disorder has become a label that carries a stigma. Tim asks people to get rid of that label and look at how a person would cope today in an intimate relationship if they were deeply hurt in a relationship as a child. How do we heal from deep relationship wounds? What are helpful tools for when those wounds are triggered today?

Re-parenting ourselves involves deconstructing our past - carefully evaluating what we were taught so that we can discover any lies or any unhealthy tools were given to us. It is discovering why we have problems in our lives right now. It is examining the foundation and building materials of the house of our lives that is now falling apart. This is necessary so that we can get healthy, but it can be a difficult process.

Peace is something every parent desires for their child, but peace is such an illusive thing. What are the ingredients of peace and how does one attain internal and external peace?

Parenting involves preparing children for the pressures/temptations they will face in new situations. As a child grows, they learn that they will face pressure not just from their external world, but also from their internal world. They have a dark side, dark urges, dark forces within. What tools help us deal with these dark internal and external forces?

Parenting an angry child is extremely difficult. What tools help us do this?

Parenting an anxious child is challenging. What are tools that will help us do this?

Another way to describe re-parenting is to think of it in terms of parenting a child with Complex Trauma. This is a child who already has many unhealthy coping tools and is using survival tools in an attempt to feel safe. Today, Tim shares strategies for parenting and re-parenting Complex Trauma.

Part of parenting is talking to children about "the birds and the bees". But what happens if a child is sexually abused or received teaching about sex that was distorted? What ramifications would that have in their life? What would re-parenting look like so that they end up with a healthy understanding and experiencing of sex?

Every child fails. Failure is part of life and learning. But for people who grew up in Complex Trauma, failure was never a good thing. Nothing good came out of failure. So, re-parenting oneself requires learning to respond to their own failures in healthy ways, so that they become positive learning experiences.

Successful lives are built on healthy habits used to meet our 12 Needs. Research shows that the younger children learn healthy habits, the better chance they have at a healthy life. But Complex Trauma results in lots of unhealthy habits. What are healthy habits? How does one break bad habits and start healthy habits?

Research regularly shows that a healthy life is built on healthy thinking. Children need to be taught, not only what to think, but also, how to think. Complex Trauma negatively affects both. It results in believing many lies and in having many unhealthy types of thinking.

Re-Parenting involves learning how to meet my 12 needs. When do I need help from others? When am I totally responsible myself for my needs? What exactly are my needs?

What is spirituality? It is often not understood in our culture. What is the difference between spirituality and religion? Is it important? What are some of the ways it can be distorted and become harmful?

Children need to be taught that it is not just important what they do (their actions), but also why they do it (their motives). Good actions with the wrong motives can do a lot of damage. Children from Complex Trauma grow up in a world of unhealthy motives. What do healthy motives look like? How does one grow in this area?

Children are naturally resilient; it is something that must be taught to them. Children from Complex Trauma learn to survive, but are not resilient. Complex Trauma creates a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. Re-parenting involves learning resilience today. Learn how that is done.

Every child needs to know how to find healthy friends, and how to distinguish between safe people and unsafe people; and they need to know what process to undergo in order to figure that out. They also need to know what to do when they encounter parts things in people that make them feel uncomfortable or annoyed. Do they reject the person or accept them?

To be healthy a child needs to be fully accepted - their body and personality. But there is a tricky part to acceptance. Do I accept all of my body, or are there some things I can change? What do I do when it comes to accepting other people or circumstances? Is it all right to accept some things and reject others?

Giving and receiving gifts in a healthy way is very important for a child's development. But Complex Trauma messes up most of this. Re-parenting ourselves requires learning to give and receive gifts in a healthy way; and it has many, many benefits.

The brain develops ways to protect the wounded inner child. These are known as adaptations or protectors. The problem for people from Complex Trauma is that once they become adults, these adaptations cause them a lot of problems in relationships and life. Learn about these protectors and how to reparent them during todays Tim Talk.

Practical tools for connecting with one's inner child.

Many find inner child work to be an important part of their journey of healing from trauma. But what are people referring to when they talk about their inner child?

An overview of 17 parenting styles, 16 of which are potentially harmful, so that people can catch any harmful styles they are using to re-parent themselves.

Being healthy is the result of balancing all of the needs and responsibilities of one's life. But it is very complicated, especially for people with Complex Trauma. Learn why this is so, as well as healthy tools for becoming balanced.

Parents teach their children how to process and resolve hurt. Getting hurt in relationships and by life is part of life. In recovery, we must re-parent ourselves to learn how to respond to hurt in a way that will enable us to resolve it.

Research shows that adults need play almost as much as children do; and that play is very important for maintaining good mental health and healthy self-care. Most people from Complex Trauma have not experienced healthy play, and so this is something important for them to learn as they reparent themselves.

Trust is a foundational building block of a healthy life; but in order for a child to build trust, they need parents who are committed to them. What does that kind of commitment look like? It is important to understand it because I need that same kind of commitment today to myself.

In order for a child to develop in a healthy way, they need much encouragement. Complex Trauma families breed discouragement. Re-parenting self involves learning to encourage self and others.

A healthy life is only possible is one has the right values. Many from Complex Trauma grew up with the "Laws/Values of the Jungle". It is important for them to learn a healthy set of values

For most people with Complex Trauma, they have many painful memories about Special Occasions. But Special Occasions that are done in healthy ways are vital to creating healthy people, families and societies.

One of the challenges of re-parenting ourselves is dealing with our limbic brain. Tim gives an understanding of why that is so, and practical tools for helping us.

The foundation necessary for a child to develop in a healthy way is attachment. What does a child need in order to attach? What are practical tools for developing secure attachment?

Healing from Complex Trauma involves reparenting our wounded self. Tim begins looking at what is involved in this process. Today, he looks at the necessary building blocks an infant must have if they are to develop in a healthy way.