My Anxiety Won’t Shut Up—Understanding the Complex Trauma Behind Relentless Worry
“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.”
When Anxiety Feels Like a Broken Record
You’ve tried to reason with it. You’ve yelled at it in frustration. Maybe you’ve even numbed it—only for it to return, louder than before.
For those with complex trauma, anxiety isn’t just "worry." It’s a hypervigilant alarm system, stuck in a loop from past wounds. It screams: "Danger!" even when you’re safe. "You’re not enough!" even when you’re thriving.
But what if your anxiety isn’t the enemy? What if it’s a traumatized part of you, desperate to be heard?
The Many Voices of Anxiety
Anxiety doesn’t just live in your mind. It embodies itself—through your nervous system, your behaviors, even your relationships.
Physical SOS Signals
- Racing heart, sweating, shortness of breath ("I’m preparing you to run!")
- Chronic pain, headaches, digestive issues ("I’m storing the stress you ignore!")
- Fatigue or restlessness ("I’m exhausted from keeping you ‘safe’!")
Emotional/Behavioral Cries for Help
- Hypervigilance ("I’m scanning for threats so you don’t get hurt again.")
- Procrastination or dissociation ("I’m freezing to protect you from overwhelm.")
- Seeking reassurance or compulsive behaviors ("I’m trying to control the chaos.")
These aren’t flaws—they’re survival strategies forged in trauma. Your body remembers what your mind tries to forget.
Step 1: Validate the Alarm (Instead of Silencing It)
Imagine a child trembling after a nightmare. You wouldn’t yell, "Stop overreacting!" You’d kneel down, listen, and whisper: "I’m here. You’re safe."
Your anxiety needs the same compassion. Try these scripts:
- "I hear you. Can you tell me what you’re afraid of?"
- "It makes sense you feel this way. We’ve been hurt before."
- "Thank you for trying to protect me. We’re safe now."
Note: If this feels unnatural, picture speaking to your younger self—the one who first learned to expect danger.
Step 2: Accept the Anxiety (Even When You Hate It)
Resisting anxiety is like fighting quicksand. Acceptance isn’t surrender—it’s the first step toward rewiring the alarm.
- Instead of: "I shouldn’t panic over driving—my accident was years ago!"
- Try: "My body reacts this way because it’s trying to protect me. I’m learning to reassure it."
Complex trauma wires the brain to overpredict danger. Acceptance helps your nervous system update its outdated software.
Step 3: Shift from Shame to Curiosity
Shame says: "Why am I like this?"
Curiosity asks: "What is this trying to show me?"
- Example:
- Shame: "I’m embarrassed that country music triggers me."
- Compassion: "My brain associates this song with pain. That’s not weakness—it’s a sign of how deeply I was hurt."
Healing Truth: Anxiety diminishes when met with compassionate witnessing, not judgment.
When Anxiety Is Ignored: The Cost of Repression
Complex trauma teaches us to disconnect from our bodies. But repressed anxiety doesn’t vanish—it morphs into:
- Unexplained chronic pain or illness
- Explosive moods or emotional numbness
- Isolation or paranoia ("No one understands me.")
The Way Forward: Anxiety isn’t a flaw to fix. It’s a signal—one that softens when met with patience.
A Gentle Reminder
Healing isn’t about silencing anxiety. It’s about building a relationship with it—one where you’re no longer hostage to its screams, but a compassionate guide for its fears.
"Little by little, the conversation shifts.
The alarms quiet.
And one day, you realize:
The voice that once screamed ‘Danger!’
Now whispers, ‘I trust you.’"
Key Takeaways
- Anxiety in complex trauma is a maladaptive protector, not a character flaw.
- Validation + acceptance rewires the nervous system faster than repression.
- Shame fuels anxiety; curiosity disarms it.
- The body keeps score: Unexpressed anxiety becomes chronic pain or outbursts.
- Healing begins when we listen to—not silence—our inner alarm.
Additional Resources to Support Your Journey
- Explore our ALIGN courses for practical, trauma-informed tools to help you navigate recovery -
- Read “Complex Trauma, Survival Adaptations, and the Concept of Soul Murder” for actionable insights.
Healing is a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. You don’t have to walk it alone.